In the Waiting Room
by Titania Le Fey
Summary: Based in the storyline where Snake is married to Xena Warrior Princess and seeing another woman.
1. Initial visit

  
Snake sat on the metal table with a deep scowl etched into his expression. He loathed hospitals and this was the worst, a fertility clinic. It was everything he hated plus his fears all in one convenient place. This was hell and it was taking forever. It couldn't take that long to go and get charts from his previous tests.

Plissken sighed and twisted his wedding band. He put aside all of his fears for her. Even if he hadn't told her he was coming or about his previous visit. It was all coming to this. The moment when that doctor walked back in was like judgment day. His hopes for the future hung by the answer he was waiting for.

A heavy sigh and he heard the door opening. Plissken felt his heart stop from fear. He wasn't afraid of anything, not guns, not prison, not death but this was different. Snake wanted to flee from the doctor walking toward him. The only thing that forced him to hold his ground was the band of gold under his fingers.

"Well Mr. Plissken I've got some good news and some bad." The doctor spoke as he pulled up the wheeled stool. It squeaked on the old linoleum and Plissken almost broke from pressure. Keeping focused he stared at the doctor before giving a curt nod.

"As things are, children are going to be difficult if not impossible." He paused looking over the charts. "With your history I suspect some of it is due to your severe drug addictions."

"I know." Snake answered before looking away at the walls. How many diagrams of penises did they need?

"Have you ever thought of quitting?" The young doctor kept his voice quiet and even.

"I've tried." Snake looked down at his wedding ring. How many times had he failed at kicking the cocaine, 7...? 8 times or more in just three years. It seemed hopeless now when he thought about it.

"I can get you in to see a drug counselor if you want."

Snake understood that the man was trying to help and just offering suggestions. He tried to remember that when he spoke. "I don't like doctors."

He heard the charts rustling but didn't look over. "Have you thought about artificial insemination from a sperm donor?"

Snake came around glaring. He was a hair's breadth from strangling the doctor. He could see in the man's expression that he realized that was the wrong thing to say.

"It was just a suggestion."

Snake tried to relax but the thought that statement had put in his mind short circuited his anger management. The idea alone that he couldn't have children with his wife and some other man, even disconnected as it was, could was grounds for murder.

"Why don't we start small?" Fear boiled from the doctor's words. "The painkillers you're on can cause reduced sperm count. I can write a script for something less detrimental."

Snake's teeth were so clenched that he couldn't respond. He did nod his agreement with the idea.

"After two weeks we can do another test and assess the changes." The doctor was making notes on Plissken's chart when Snake finally stared him down.

"If you ever say that bullshit again, I'll kill you." His voice was a low growl.

The doctor's eyes shot up and then drifted down to the guns Snake had worn into his office. He hesitated before replying to Snake. "We can find a way to make you the father. It might take work from both of us."

Snake didn't relax but the death glare subsided.

"In the mean time look into controlling your drug use."

Snake nodded and stood taking the script from the doctor.

"The receptionist will arrange your next appointment."

Snake didn't answer. He just walked out in a foul, nasty mood that was going to take a miracle to put aside. Why any man would suggest that to another was beyond Snake. He would have rather heard about more explosives than that. 


	2. Return

Despite his loathing of doctors Snake kept up on his visits with Evelyn and now this. Once more he sat at the fertility clinic undressed on a table. It was the worst thing he could imagine being. It still cut at his pride to even come here at all. Then there was Arkham. It took everything he had to even go into a hospital after that. Still he waited while they processed his "sample". Couldn't they just call it what it was? Plissken just laughed at the whole procedure. Eventually, when he thought he was ready to walk out they did return.

His usual doctor was accompanied by a female nurse, maybe an intern, she obviously hadn't been warned. The poor girl went six shades of red and stared at him for a long time.

"This is Mis…. Snake. Snake this is my new intern Doctor Kassidy Morgan." Doctor O'Connell was already standing at the counter looking over the folder. Snake on the other hand was staring at his intern who was still pinned by the door. Without any other option Snake just shook his head.

Slowly she inched over next to O'Connell but her eyes were still wide as saucers. "Will you get Snake's blood pressure for me?"

She didn't move until the doctor handed her the cuff. Snake almost felt bad for her.

"Don't worry sweetheart. I don't bite." Snake smiled at her but it didn't help her at all. It was supposed to be a joke. O'Connell was watching and frowned at the scene.

"Kassidy, why don't you go to 6A and prep Mrs. Blackburn." She all but fled from the room.

"Sorry about that." O'Connell came over and took his blood pressure as Snake watched the monitor. It was down. 195 over 120 was low for Plissken.

"Your count is better, blood pressures down." O'Connell commented as he put the cuff back in its basket. Snake was watching like a caged animal. Even if he trusted this doctor more than most it was still a hospital.

"I can also see the new mom of the family has you active again." There was an amused tone that caused Plissken's brow to rise.

"The scratches from blade to side and the bites, unless you got in a fight with a wild animal on the streets."

Snake laughed thinking about Evie doing the same thing to him. It was good though that he and his doctor could joke. It was a pleasant change from the fear on both sides the first time he'd shown up.

"We've got a couple options open for treatment. I'm going to suggest you continue with therapy. If nothing else it seems to have decreased your drug use and stress levels."

Snake wasn't sure if that was the case but it wasn't the worst request he'd heard.

"I'm also going to write a prescription for steroids."

"No needles." Plissken's teeth gritted together in disapproval.

"I know. These are oral. Not as effective as the injections but it's a start. We can see if that helps." Dr. O'Connell smiled and sat down. "You can get dressed. Just a few more questions."

"Is … are your partners on birth control or do you use protection?"

Snake looked over from where he was pulling on his pants and rolled his eye.

"I didn't think so." The doctor laughed good naturedly. "The chance of her getting pregnant are going to increase dramatically if this works. If you aren't ready for more children you might want to consider it. I can't say much but you're used to zero chance. This could get it up to over 20%."

Snake nodded and despite being busily dressing he was paying attention.

"I'd like her to take a pregnancy test a month after the final dose."

"Sure." Snake answered but wasn't really in any mood to bring this up when he got home.

"We should talk about side effects as well."

Snake sat back down on the table. "What are they?"

"It can cause mood swings, violent outbursts, increased blood pressure, anxiety, feelings of paranoia. It is a steroid."

"So, I'll act the same?" Snake shrugged.

"It could also temporarily lower your sex drive." The doctor was scribbling notes before he went on. "The dosages are low and only for two weeks. It shouldn't cause too much of a change but some notice severe side effects when coupled with uppers. I know you take several kinds of drugs."

"I can handle it." Snake was rather self assured.

"I still want you to work on the other addictions."

Snake rolled his eye like a teenage boy. O'Connell no longer even reacted to them.

"Here's the prescription. When you have one dose left you need to come in for another exam."

Snake sighed and nodded as he took the little slip of paper. "Thanks."

"It's my job."

Snake shook his head and walked out. He wanted to bolt again but headed down into the clinic basement to get the script filled. This was going to be a long two weeks.


	3. Side effects

Snake was back for his follow up exam. He still hated the hospital but this room was at least starting to win him over. He'd been in the room 6 times and nothing worse than having to relent to a blood sample had happened. That was the upside. The down side was the waiting as they once more processed his "sample". That word he still hated. Plissken was slowly realizing he hated being related to such sterile words. It was too clinical and set his nerves into a tail spin.

It wasn't too long this time before O'Connell came in to see Plissken. Snake watched him set out the manila folder that contained all his records for the treatments. Finally he turned around approaching to take Plissken's blood pressure.

"How was the treatment period? Did you notice any side effects?"

Snake watched the cuff go on his arm and sighed. "Aside from wanting to strangle people more than usual… no."

O'Connell pumped up the cuff as he continued. "On a scale of one to ten, one being relaxed and 10 being very agitated how did you feel on the treatment?"

"Twenty five."

O'Connell's eyes opened a little wider than usual as he took the readings from the cuff and removed it.

"I got good news and bad for you about the treatment."

Snake cocked his head curiously as the doctor scribbled in the folder.

"The bad news is the side effects seem to hit you. Your blood pressure and mood seem severely affected by them." O'Connell was back over to the table feeling the glands in Plissken's throat which caused him to involuntarily pull back at first. New York was still there in his mind even if this doctor had no needles.

"The good news is that your sperm count is up in a range where it is possible that you could conceive unaided. It would take time and planning but it is possible."

Snake took in all the information but wasn't sure if that was good or bad. He mulled it over while the exam went on. "Is the change permanent or do I have to stay on the drugs for it?"

O'Connell checked his good eye and sighed. "The effects will fade over time as your hormone levels return to the base state. There are other treatments that we can try if you want something suitable for long term use."

Plissken went quiet again as he took in what he was being told. There were a lot going through his mind as he sat staring at the opposite wall. "If I stay on this treatment what's the best approach?"

Curiosity was settling on Plissken as he tried to figure out what he should be doing.

"Well the first step would be for you to go home and talk this over with your wife and girlfriend." O'Connell smiled at Plissken as he moved to dim the lights.

"My wife's still away." Snake sighed and looked down at the floor. That was not something he wanted reminded of.

"I'm sorry. It must be hard." O'Connell rejoined Plissken and carefully reached for the eye patch. Snake pulled back glaring daggers. His trust only went so far.

"Can you take the patch off? I'd like to make sure the elevated blood pressure hasn't damaged your eye."

Snake eyed him warily for a moment before reaching up to pull off the patch. Gently the doctor began to examine it.

"As I was saying the first step will be speaking with the women in your life who'll be affected by your treatments or those you wish to have children with." Snake flinched as the exam went on through the explanation. "Basically how the treatment works is we would track the ovulation of the woman involved. Once we knew her cycle we would start your treatment three or four days before. Then it's all on you to go home and make sure she's… well taken care of during her peak in fertility."

Snake laughed at the last comment which caused O'Connell to snicker as well.

"Then of course pregnancy tests to see if it was successful. We can repeat the treatment with each of her cycles until you conceive or decide to take another approach."

Plissken nodded as he listened to the continuing explanation. "It's on me now?"

"You can call once you've spoken to her. I'd be happy to administer her check ups as well given the circumstances."

Snake knew O'Connell had an idea about the score and his paranoia. Nodding again Plissken pulled his patch back on. "Thanks."

"Not a problem." O'Connell Backed up to let Plissken have a clear path to the door. "I'll look forward to hearing from you in a day or two."

Snake nodded once more before leaving. He wasn't sure how Bria was going to take all of this but maybe this would be the time to get some other things out of the way too.


	4. Phone call

Things had been hectic and now he finally got a moment to make the call. The phone rang while Plissken waited impatiently.

_Thank you for calling….._

Plissken rolled his eye. The automated menus always drove him insane. He didn't have the patience for them at all. Still he dutifully punched up numbers in the long list of choices. Snake thought an hour had passed before he was lighting a cigarette and once more waiting for the ringing phone.

"Hello, Dr. O'Connell. What can I do for you?"

Snake immediately recognized the voice on the other end. Puffing out a billow of smoke Snake answered.

"It's Snake."

"How are you doing? Have you talked to the misseses?"

Snake sighed taking another puff as he watched Bria take Mason in to nap. "Could be better but not too bad." Snake paused for a bit before continuing. "We decided to give it a try."

"Good to hear. Did you talk about when you would want to start?"

"Figuring on working it so the twins are a year or more before the next is born." Snake focused on Bria picking up the toys. She really shouldn't be bending over in that skirt.

"That is a wise choice. We should start tracking her ovulations now. Do you want to come by and pick up the unit or should I mail it to you?"

Snake didn't hear what the doctor was saying. His mind was on sex and making babies. That was where his thoughts went when he called the clinic.

"Snake?"

He still didn't hear anything while he tried to decide if she had a tiny thong on under that skirt or nothing at all. It was enough to get him started.

"Plissken?"

"Huh?" Snake was brought back to reality for just a moment.

"Did you hear me?"

"No." Plissken tilted his head to admire the curves of her legs. "What'd you ask?"

"You seem distracted. Is everything alright?"

"Absolutely wonderful." Snake smashed out his cigarette as he watched Bria pile the things in the toy box.

"Do you want the kit mailed?"

"Yes." Snake answered but only half heard.

"I'll send it out in the morning."

"Sounds good." Plissken's voice trailed off when she bent a little farther and the skirt slid up to show only bare skin underneath.

"Snake? Is there something wrong?" O'Connell was clearly worried.

"Wrong?" Snake had to think about it. "No."

"You still sound distracted."

Snake shifted anxiously in his chair. "I am."

O'Connell sighed heavily. "I still want her to take pregnancy tests in the meantime."

"Tomorrow." Snake commented off handedly. She would need one after what he was going to do to her when this call was done.

"That's a little early. The end of June would be fine."

"End of June." Snake repeated it but had no association between the words and anything else.

"What is going on there?" O'Connell had never heard Snake this disoriented and was worried about the drugs.

"I'm about to test your therapy techniques." Snake felt like he was about to moan without being able to stop it but he could still be sarcastic.

After his comment there was a long pause on the other side before it was overtaken by laughter. Snake started paying attention once the laughter started on the other end.

"Let me guess, long legs and a short skirt."

Snake started chuckling. "You can't imagine."

"No, I can't. Listen, I'll call you in a few days to make sure the unit has arrived and you both understand how to use it. Until then, you go and work on it the "Old fashion way"."

"I plan on it." Snake smiled and stood up heading for the second floor where Bria had disappeared.

"Talk to you soon."

"Yeah. Thanks." Plissken hung up and took the steps two at a time. He wanted a better look at that skirt.


End file.
